“12.2.dA.brAIn” by FBR2001 – [dEnYnE]

https://youtu.be/lkiYc3hc6DA

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AIC – ANGRY CHAIR [YT]

Sitting on an angry chair
Angry walls that steal the air
Stomach hurts and I don’t care

What do I see across the way, hey
See myself molded in clay, oh
Stares at me, yeah I’m afraid
Changing the shape of his face, oh yeah

Candles red I have a pair
Shadows dancing everywhere
Burning on the angry chair

Little boy made a mistake
Pink cloud has now turned to gray, oh
All that I want is to play
Get on your knees, time to pray, oh

I don’t mind, yeah
I don’t mind, yeah
Lost my mind, yeah
Can’t find it anywhere
I don’t mind

Corporate prison, we stay
I’m a dull boy, work all day
So I’m strung out anyway

Loneliness is not a phase
Field of pain is where I graze
Serenity is far away

Saw my reflection and cried
So little hope that I died, oh
Feed me your lies, open wide
Weight of my heart, not the size, oh

I don’t mind, yeah
I don’t mind, yeah
Lost my mind, yeah
Can’t find it anywhere

Pink cloud has now turned to gray
All that I want is to play
Get on your knees time to pray, boy

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we’re never ready to die, yet here we are

its never going to happen
im never going to get my sense of justice
the things i dream of
the work i’ve put it now for nothing
all things scattered
im left wondering

why do i move forward?
why do i bother to wake up in the morning
when theres others out there who take pleasure in my failure?

what the fuck did i do to you except show you who i am?
give you support? make you look like the genius
some even knew in the background that you weren’t the one doing the work
but you were taking all the credit

im not ready to die

Image may contain: one or more people, sunglasses, sky, cloud, outdoor and closeup

Posted in Assholes, i hope we die holding hands, jane stop this crazy thing, Love, LSD, my creations, smite thee, words | Leave a comment

Babe I’m Gonna Leave You – YouTube

Babe, baby, baby, I’m gonna leave you.
I said baby, you know I’m gonna leave you.

I’ll leave you when the summertime
Leave you when the summer comes a rollin’
Leave you when the summer comes along.

Babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, baby, baby
I don’t want to leave you
I ain’t jokin’ woman, I got to ramble.
Oh yeah
Baby, baby, babe, I believin’
We really got to ramble.
I can hear it callin’ me the way it used to do
I can hear it callin’ me back home!

Babe, I’m gonna leave you
Oh, baby, you know, I’ve really got to leave you
Oh I can hear it callin ‘me
I said don’t you hear it callin’ me the way it used to do?
Ohhh

I know, I know
I know I never never never never never gonna leave your babe
But I got to go away from this place,

I’ve got to quit you, yeah
Ooh, baby baby baby baby baby baby ooh
Don’t you hear it callin’ me?
Woman, woman, I know, I know
It feels good to have you back again
And I know that one day baby, it’s really gonna grow, yes it is.
We gonna go walkin’ through the park every day.

Come what may, every day
Oh, mama baby
I’m gonna leave you go away

It was really, really good.
You made me happy every single day.
But now!
I’ve got to go away!

Baby, baby, baby,
That’s when it’s callin’ me
I said that’s when it’s callin’ me back home.

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moving away from ego [or] codependency

i thought i saw myself in you. i dove in thinking we had a connection. i already had love jump started by interacting with a younger version of you who ended up being too much fire to control. in the mean time i was connected with other vampires. all the while i continued to0 dive myself ijnto meth and confusion, alone, loss of my home and marriage i beginImage result for burning up in the atmosphere to get tossed from one rip current to another. in fact, i start surrounding myself with people i know open the door for me to be bad to myself. everyone. by design.

now that ive felt the items of the physical stripped away like an asteroid on its entry into
earth’s atmosphere, burning at impossible temperatures, then, finally, smashing into the solid structure of reality below, shattered to a million little pieces. 

starting over my good intentions exist but still i attach myself. afraid to the be the center or orbit but destined to be the fiery magnetic that is the center of all.  do i reach out and let it burn through me, change me, or do i hide like the others, settling for less when im capable of more. misled, i strumbled through much of life asking these same questions.

[…] 

Posted in change the world, change yourself, i hope we die holding hands, jane stop this crazy thing, Love | Leave a comment

you’ll read this 
you still wont know it
i expressed it as clearly as i could
it made no difference
follow your heart
im no stranger to this place

 

 

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California scientists make cells RESISTANT to HIV | Daily Mail Online

A new report from The Scripps Research Institute in California has found a way to make cells resistant to HIV. Antibodies bind to cell receptors that block the virus from infecting it.

Source: California scientists make cells RESISTANT to HIV | Daily Mail Online

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sometimes nothing said is better
feeling less 
sitting still

figuring out your own mandela effect

where did the rip, the tear 
i dont remember , there must of been something..

but no
its not there
the thread, the string to the garment

 

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got a crack in my heart that i fill with whiskey
and in my back pocket i got one rolled for you
it wasnt that far long ago that first time you kissed me
got this crack in my heart.. a picture of you

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Milk & Health [Spirit Science] 

I seriously believe changing the way I eat will change everything. I’m not sure how to deprogram nearly 50 years of lies and misinformation. child of a consumer culture, lazily embracing the norm, now seeing the result of my ignorance.

Posted in change the world, change yourself, food, forbidden knowledge, man, medicine, science, spirit science, the future of man?, youtube | Leave a comment

Antarctica has a past? Why aren’t we learning about it? [YT]

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how can i stop it?

this cycle.. this never ending wave of bad decision making? lying to myself, telling everybody i’m ok. losing everyone i love, losing everything i own. always giving myself away, thinking im worth less than everyone else?

i dont know how to deal with this anymore. i wish i could go back to choices. just disconnect.

from the divorce i have the dogs. they are rescue dogs. they bark at everyone. they’re afraid. i understand them but unless you understand them you can’t befriend them. human beings, unfortunately, are slaves to their perceptions prompted by fear. most of the people that my dogs dont like are people that are either not trustworthy or are unable for some reason or another of friendship or love.

there are other times where people come in and the barking just stops, they’re cool, its natural. this is the type of person i am.

unfortunately getting an apartment or anything like that with dogs is really hard or extra expensive. getting roommates even more difficult. i cant survive on my own in san diego. not without a car and i certainly couldnt live by the beach in my home town without sacrificing all my time to work.

maybe i should just give in?

which is why i want to quit everything, all drugs and alcohol.. even meat and sugar if i were so daring.

im going to die if i dont make a change.

nobody knows this but you. im not putting it on facebook. twitter. just here. do what you want with it. i dont care anymore. i only have today.

all ive wanted is to play music and perform. i started out with the same set of rules and abilities as everyone else. its my fault im sick. its my fault im poor and on moms couch. dormant self destruction, self pity. i just actually had an experience but unless i maintain the connection, its only some lifestyle i’d have to chase… a party? no i want healing!

nobodys going to rescue me. somehow i have to figure this out. as it goes along i formulate but more gets sucked when ijn someone else’s reality im a parasite, selfish, stupid, no good..

or maybe its the opposite, and my current purpose is to make all the fakes look better while sacrificing my true nature and place in the wild?

i try to convince myself im on the way out. why? can i do it on my own? i did say i started with the same set of rules but the truth is i was just very trusting. i didnt understand. naive. sheltered.

ironic since i was surrounded by sex, drugs, violence, live music, hippies, bikers, cops, tears and laughing from the very beginning. something out of easy rider and grizzly adams meets dogtown.

i was abused but loved more.

i was exposed to drugs almost since the beginning so i didnt think much of it, thought it was just something everybody did. ironically i didnt start experimenting with any real interest until i was almost 19. mainly because of the people i started hanging out with.

before that i was hacking, phreaking, pirating software in a pre-internet analog underworld, reaching out trying to find anyone else in the dark.

i guess none of it matters.

im always lonely, poor, hungry, deprived.

selfish, angry, hurtful, scared

loud, crazy, the ringing in my ears never stops

the older i get the less people want me

and if i dont find a way to fix this
to get my shit together
to get on my own
im going to fail
ill never see the dream
and i dont know how much time
or energy
i have
left

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Bionic penis: Man with love implant is very popular with women | Daily Star

I’ve often considered replacing my small, tiny penis with something like this.Source: Bionic penis: Man with love implant is very popular with women | Daily Star

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Bizarre moment forest phototrap snaps a naked man high on LSD who thinks he is a tiger

Don’t let them get you down, buddy, trust your gut. You ARE a tiger, brah! RAWRTHE BIZARRE moment a man took off all his clothes to run through a forest like a tiger has been caught on camera. The man, identified only as Marek H, is believed to have been high on LSD after tak…

Source: Bizarre moment forest phototrap snaps a naked man high on LSD who thinks he is a tiger

Posted in comedy, drugs, drugs r bad mkay, forbidden knowledge, if its gonna be that kinda partay!, jane stop this crazy thing, LSD, medicine, mental unhealth, news, oops, psychedelic, road trip!, the psychedelic experience, touch my butt, trust your mechanic!, What the fuck? | Leave a comment

Wild sex party famed for bondage and orgies leaves several hurt as ambulances scrambled | Daily Star

hmm, i wasnt invited. things would of been handled correctly.THIS place is crazier than the Playboy mansion.

Source: Wild sex party famed for bondage and orgies leaves several hurt as ambulances scrambled | Daily Star

Posted in alcohol, drugs, girls, guys, its da neeeeww style, jane stop this crazy thing, kink, news, nuns are hot, sex, touch my butt | Leave a comment

why the mystery with antarctica in modern times? whats being hid and why?

 

whichever side of the fence you sit on, you have to research for yourself and try to find your own truth, not take the truth presented to you blindly as fact. an open mind is necessary. 

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Hollywood star sex robots ‘as real as humans’ set to SELL in huge numbers | Daily Star

Ok, a Scarlett Johanssen?!Source: Hollywood star sex robots ‘as real as humans’ set to SELL in huge numbers | Daily Star

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Statue of Jesus only thing left standing in house burned by Tennessee wildfire – CNN.com

A local TV crew found something awe-inspiring amid the jaw-dropping destruction in Sevier County, Tennessee.

Source: Statue of Jesus only thing left standing in house burned by Tennessee wildfire – CNN.com

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Happy Birthday Yolandi Vi$$er! <3 <3

I love you. Come home soon.

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Final frontier: Russia, USA and China are prepping for all-out SPACE WAR | Daily Star

Russia is planning on building research stations on Mars.

 

Source: Final frontier: Russia, USA and China are prepping for all-out SPACE WAR | Daily Star

Posted in interstellar, man, mother russia, news, science, tech, the future of man?, things falling out of the sky, time+space, to infinity and beyond | Leave a comment